Wtf?

Why does this link take you to a jebus page? I am non-plused to say the least. 

Soliciting New Sidekick

(Sigh.) I haven't posted anything to this site in ages (nor has Scooter, to be fair to me). My neighborhood is chock full of fodder but I've not thought to carry my camera with me. The cell phone camera is shit, so that's never an option.

So- I'm soliciting partners in crime. Scooter has just up and abandoned me for NYC. My boyfriend moved out of state today. Other things in my life have also disintegrated. In other words, I have plenty of time on my hands. I also, however, live next to a ghetto. It's not as bad as Stop Six (look it up online if you don't know the area), yet I'm loathe to venture out alone, camera in hand.

Requirements: you have to already know me; you have to have a bit of an off-kilter/dark sense of humor; you have to be unafraid to take pictures of churches home to thugs and scary people; you should probably be willing to contribute a bit of your own opinions (or even blog entries) about the houses of worship visited. Also- if you'd like to write, you must be able to spell (or know how to use spell check) and construct a coherent narrative. That's not too much to ask, is it? You don't actually have to write anything to accompany me. If you do wish to write, however, please note the aforementioned requests.

Decree From On High

Because God Cares... you have lost your lease. You were not meant to form a church here (or anywhere) in the first place. Next please!

Corporate Jesus Cures Constipation

How did they know what I needed? It's as if... as if... as if it were divine. And if I had needed a clean toilet at that moment, I could have found it in the office park sanctuary. They tend to have decent facilities.



Seriously, though, I'm sure they have all the services needed in one complex. It looks like the sort that might house an accountant, a pr firm, small publishing, and maybe some video production studios, all of which a thriving, regular congregation would need. A Christian insurance agency could sell life insurance for those left behind by one saved and returned to His Maker, along with auto insurance for those who drive with Jesus as their copilot. (They tend to be distracted by the meaningful conversations they are having with Him rather than paying attention to the road.) Would that agent also offer property insurance covering Acts of God?

From the sign I can clearly see that like me, they are also always looking for a good bathroom. Colon health is very important. The office parks like that usually have a doctor and a dentist. And why not? Maintaining His temple is demanded somewhere in the Old Testament.

Does putting up a sign at Gaston and Royal about intestinal health qualify as spreading the Word? Perhaps it's more of a declaration. With clean colons, they are unladen, lighter weight and floating up to heaven.


Credit must be given to Scooter for the photos, for finding the church, and for the brainstorming which refined the final text. Of course, he's never constipated: that's me, worrying forever about the souls of all the unsaved in the world.

Jesus Saves to PUSH headstones

Across from the hull that was once Six Flags Mall, stand two humble sanctuaries, side by side against the fetid odor, the pure evil emanating from that rotting corpse of commerce.








I'm not sure just what "P.U.S.H" means, but they're here to deliver you. Whether it's deliverance from evil or into the arms of scary crackers, I can't say. But you should be warned: The Holy Ghost may take over!



To the west of PUSH (the doors face south), sits the International Christian Fellowship Center, who wants you to know that Jesus loves, saves, and heals, in case you hadn't heard anything about that before. The name isn't anything that would normally catch one's attention. What does give one pause, however, is its location. This fellowship is situated between a church offering deliverance and a shop selling headstones. Deliver me here, mark my grave there.






Note the sign in the momument shop's window:

[sic]
Senior citizens: Retired??? Bored??? Need extra income??? Come In Lets Talk

What do they want the seniors to do? Is this work, or are they hoping to pay the seniors for body parts? Maybe they want the seniors to tap their friends as potential clients. It's all so gruesome.

Basic Trucking Science

A trip to that office park during the day rendered both pictures and new information. We'd no idea that, although their doors are on opposite sides of the park (Basic Church facing north), the two churches share a hallway and are only one door apart! One wonders if there is much friendly, Christian discourse between the congregants.







A stroll east along the inner hall revealed the back door of the North Texas Branch of NOAA. Yes, that NOAA. So, on one side is fire & brimstone & literal interpretation of the Bible, and on the other a government-sponsored scientific organization. If I worked at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, I'm not entirely sure that I could resist the temptation to inundate the churches with fliers and packets reiterating that global warming is real, that people caused it, and that the earth is not just 6000 years old.

Dearfriend

I showed this page to my mom (Dearfriend) the other day. I hoped she'd enjoy it, but worried that she might instead find it all to be in poor taste. (I would have continued the project either way.) I fretted for naught. Mom was tickled. She's even keeping her eyes peeled for future subjects!

More than that, she's shared stories with me. She recalls that once in a literature course she took when she was a student at North Texas (now known as UNT), there was a lively discussion about church (especially tent) revivals. With all that hollerin' and screamin', praisin' the Lord, and casting out of demons, the men so worked up that ecstatic frenzy would run home to beat their wives within inches of their lives, and then rape them. Gee, I can't think of any better way to honor the Lord. I'm sure it wasn't called rape . Back then (and still by many who still hoot & holler and speak in tongues) wives were considered property, and her consent was thus unnecessary.

I look forward to hearing (and sharing) more of Mom's stories.

(My dad, unfortunately, is somewhat mortified by this project, finding it altogether disrespectful. He's not buying my assurances that we will do some research and indicate whether the parishioners are sweet people, crazy people, or horrid people.)